op ed piece for coal.

I am so glad a coal burning plant is being built in my home state of Arkansas.

Since I smoke, nothing makes me happier than a giant cigarette, standing on end.

I love the tall chimney by the highway that says, "Time to light up now", so I do.

When I'm done, I just flick the butt out the window. Nobody will know.

Burning coal stops all that annoying hunting and fishing too.

All those deer and fish getting shot makes too much noise.

They aren't like big bulldozers and trucks, softly clearing the land.

Don't forget, coal mining gets rid of annoying trees, grass and topsoil.

You can even mow down ugly mountains, if they are made of coal.

Sure the craters fill with water, but then you have a pretty blue lake full of acid.

Nothing swims there, but acid lakes are handy for all sorts of things,

like hiding old cars and drums full of waste.

- Van Warren 3/23/2008