The Pi Roaster
Rod G. Bogart
FACT: Pi is a scary thing. I saw a book in the math section of the
bookstore called "The story of PI". The whole thing is about PI.
A whole book. About PI.
FICTION: The X = 1 - 1/3 + 1/5 - 1/7 ... Files (now showing on Fox)
Interior Night: CU of hands typing at a typical computer keyboard. As
camera pulls back, the keyboard can be seen to be connected to a very
untypical home computer. There are pieces of various appliances
attached to the exposed computer internals, including a MrCoffee,
which is dripping an opalescent fluid into an IV connected to CAGE's
arm. CAGE is a forty-two year old man with shoulder length white
hair. We cannot see his face. He is working feverishly, typing
commands, then adjusting the toaster, then reading the LEDs on the
microwave. He rushes through what appears to be a rehearsed set of
adjustments. The toast pops up as the microwave dings.
CAGE
If this doesn't do it, it can't be done.
ECU CAGE. He hasn't slept for days. His eyes take in everything,
grasping every detail. He is past tired. He is past "second wind".
He is aware. LS of office. The only electrical device that is not
modified is the phone. It sits in a small cleared area of the desk.
CAGE watches the phone attentively (but his eyes occasionally dart
around to quadruple check his settings).
CAGE
Now. Nnnnnnow. Now. Now. Nnnnow.
CU phone. It just sits there. Shot of desk. The computer screen has
a long sequence of digits that flow and change as a graphic of a
circle pulses. CU toaster. The second slice of toast is not all the
way up. CAGE gingerly taps the top of the slice. It bounces up the
rest of the way. The phone rings. CAGE jumps (probably believing he
had been electrocuted in the toaster).
CAGE [picking up phone]
Hello?
VOICE in PHONE
No more.
CAGE
Please? I'm so close.
VOICE
You will be stopped.
CAGE
No! I need to see what's inside. You can't show me the orb,
and expect me to leave it alone.
VOICE
You are not ready.
CAGE
I've waited two days since I saw the orb. I'm ready. Let me
in. If you stop me, I'll just come back until you let me in.
VOICE
You will not come back.
CAGE
I will until you let -
VOICE [interrupts]
If I let you in, you will not come back.
CAGE
Oh. [pause] I don't need to come back.
VOICE
Prepare. I will make adjustments.
The computer screen goes blank. Then the same numbers appear, but the
circle is flexing and bending. It returns to a circle shape and the
numbers stop moving. The first few digits are 3.141592653589793.
Circles begin to appear around the room. They float in the air,
glowing a pure white. The circles do not move, but the room now
contains thousands of them. CAGE drops the phone. He tries to stand,
but cannot.
VOICE [from dangling phone]
Now.
The circles fly towards a point inside of CAGE. As they pass through
him, a circular section of his body vanishes. Soon they are all gone.
So is CAGE.
CAGE'S VOICE [from dangling phone]
I am everywhere! There is too much too see!
The toaster bursts into flames. On overhead sprinkler comes on and
douses the fire, and destroys the computer equipment. All of the
appliances shut off.
CAGE'S VOICE [from dangling phone]
Are you and I the only ones?
VOICE [from dangling phone]
The time is right. There will be many more.
Fade to Black