I pulled the nooser string tight.  It almost confined the snake adequately, the copperhead was still giving good wiggle.  I gently lowered the writhing body of the snake into the water and swished it thinking there was nothing quite as fine as clean snake.  My wife shrieked with various non applicable warnings and something about me being obsessive.  I was too busy to focus on the exact words.  The lower body of the snake was now sudsed up pretty good, but the head and therefore the fangs were still doubtlessly crawling with whatever rural muck this copperhead had been spending time in.  Although I did not want to anger the snake, I knew I had to dunk it to clean its head and fangs.  Knowing that snakes can swim  I dunked it and shook it around - how was I to get sudsing action otherwise? -.  When it came up out of the water it was really unhappy.  I thought snakes could swim.  Apparently it wanted to choose the date and time.  It struck at the sides of the bath pail with the few inches of neck that had gotten past the nooser.  I saw the fangs clearly now, the inside of the mouth with the V shaped folds of skin and muscle that keep the tandem hypodermics retracted only they weren't retracted now.  This was serious stuff.  I carefully tightened my grip on the string that led down the shaft of the nooser wondering about the tensile strength of the knot I had tied in that cheap cotton twine.  Just as quickly another thought appeared, "How can I be sure that one dunking got it really clean?"  Being a good tour guide, I pointed out the fangs to my son who was supervising over my shoulder.  It was down into the suds again for the second cycle.

Now the story would have ended there, but life is never as simple as it should be.  After the snake was sudsed down, the problem became drying the snake.  You see, the new snake terrarium was now sparkling in the sun and I wasn't about to flop Mr. Sudsy dishpan death hands into a nice dry clear cage.  So I flopped him onto a towel instead.  But then my wife, who had been standing guard with the hose said, "You have to rinse him".  This is one aspect of human behavior that fascinates me.  Here was a person who solidly opposed me for 15 minutes while I risked life and limb to give this snake a bath, suddenly wanting to join the party during the rinse cycle.  As she held up the nozzle I noticed the hose was pointing at  the clean DRY terrarium I was getting ready to put the snake in.  In a sudden move of betrayal she pulled the trigger.  Meanwhile in the low slow motion voice I cried NOOOOO, You'llllll Geeeetttt Thhheee Caaaaaaggggeeee  Weeeetttttt.  But it was too late, the bacteria were springing to life again like those little sea monkeys you get from the Sunday paper.  Little droplets of water now broke up the uniform gleam that had adorned the restored cage.  Then in a fit of true of mutual insanity I decided she was right.  This snake did need to go through the rinse cycle.  I grabbed her hose nozzle hand and direct her aim back towards the towel on which the noosed snake reclined and said, "Do it".  The rotating head on the pistol gripped swirled a rainbow of water droplets that softly rinsed the snake.  I dropped the snake in his clear plastic cage, the one with the ribs on top, and somehow put the top on without getting bitten.

In that moment of imperialist African safari control, I stood naked like Tarzan cradling the terrarium with two hands by the lower corners.  The ventilation ribs on the top of the cage were just shorter than the snakes fangs.  I looked at it straight on.  Both eyes could see me and I felt dual retinas image me on both sides catching hunks of my face laced with blood vessels. My head was reflexively pushed back by an invisible force.  The tapered pit viper head stared at me in right angles from the top of the head where two false snakeskin eyes adorned the sides of its face, where two nostrils, swept back for smelling rodent fur and kneeling little froggies begging for reprieve.  The cleanest copperhead in town...  until it messes its cage my wife points out...